Luckily the nail clippers were exactly where I had left them after my wife called me gross for cutting my toe nails - on the coffee table in the living room.
About ten seconds into it I was already on my fourth finger - you can say what you want about my hygiene habits but I have always taken pride in my ability to speed through a fingernail cutting session in under 1 min 30 seconds. I don't know the world record I am pretty sure I would be in the running but to be honest I don't care because I don't do it to be competitive.
They would still loose.Somehow I clipped a nail and it flew through the air reaching speeds upwards of 200 miles an hour and ricocheting through the living room behaving like a cross between an epileptic toddler and the magic bullet that Oswald fired at Kennedy.
Somehow the tiny little fingernail - - without even touching the rim - - shot right up my nose. It hit the hole so perfectly that it actually made it to the cusp between the inner area when the nose starts to stop being nose and starts to be the inside of your face. I panicked of course as most of you would when a large rouge fingernail lodges itself in your nasal passage.
I nearly choked and realized that if I inhale this thing is not stopping till it hits lung. I grabbed a napkin and blew my nose - It worked and thankfully I survived.