This ends a six month unemployment adventure which has helped me to both become more enlightened and in touch with the universe in a zen sort of way and to finally explore the hellish nightmare of suburban life that can drive some people to pray to God for a knife to cut some haggard old divorcé in JC Pennys because of the way she looked at you while buying pants.
I would like to take a few minutes to share some of the things that I have learned in the past few months.
No matter how much I would like for Sardines to taste like Vienna Sausages they don't, and no amount of hot sauce can change that.
Shoes and silverware are what separate us from the animals, if your day does not require you to use either of them you are doing something wrong.
Whether it's global economics, theoretical particle physics or ancient linguistics - Nothing is more complex or difficult to understand then the inner workings of a garage door opener.
Powdered sugar and confectioners' sugar are the same thing and neither one taste good in coffee.
Subway does not take checks.
There is a city permit for just about everything - but if your town is small enough you don't need one. You can just call city hall and tell them what you are going to do and they will say "Okay, but be careful." - You don't even have to actually be careful.
It is easier to put up a clothesline then it is to fix a dryer.
Anyone can grow mold on the dirty dishes in the sink, it takes real talent to grow tomatoes there.
Wait until you see the third turnip to attack the final boss in Super Mario Brothers 2.
90% of basic cable is infomericals at 3 a.m. and they are all bad.
I know we live in this puritanical society but I still don't think pants should be required if you are just checking the mail.
congrats on re-entry to the rat race. cw
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