Animal crackers and complaints.

I was just sitting here eating a bag of  animal crackers, something I haven't done in like ten years. About four handfuls in I realized why the store only charged me ten cents for a 2 pound bag. My animal crackers' expiration date was so long ago that some of the animals in the bag are apparently extinct because I did not recognize several of them.

If I had to guess I would say that this is a fox of some sort, but seeing as how it is the same size as the elephant crackers (and I refuse to believe that I have half a bag of tiny elephants) this means it would have to be a huge fox. It has pointed ears like a dog or wolf maybe, but the tail is way off and looks more like a horse or some kind of mutant deer.

My first thought on this one way it was some sort of cat, like a tiger or Morris from those meow mix commercials. The problem with that is he has no tail, even bobcats has some sort of tail but this thing has nothing. Maybe it was because this was a knock-off brand of animal cracker and the design team found out that if they cut the tail off of the tigers then they would save like a billion dollars a year or something. I can picture some eager cracker designer at a board meeting, "Sure a few kids might be confused but if we clearly label the bag not for educational purposes we should be covered from any legal action."

Then again I could be way off maybe this isn't a cat at all but some sort of mischievous (or possible inner city) gerbil, notice the playful way it is raising it's front leg as if to say "Toss me that string," or "Say that again peckerwood and I cut yo ass."



I have no idea on this one, my best guess would be a hand that got caught in some sort of machinery as part of an industrial accident. I guess if you count one celled organisms as "animals" then this could be an amoeba. Maybe it isn't a whole animal, I guess if you turn it upside down then it sort of looks like the head of a moose but if that were the case you would have to label the bag "animal parts in cracker form" and that's sort of a long title for toddlers to ask for by name.