Laundromat misunderstandings.

I woke up this morning and found out the dryer was broken. For months I have been waiting for the washing machine to give out because it has been making an strange noise but to my surprise the dryer quit on me first. So I was left with two loads of wet cloths - one in the dryer and another in the washing machine, luckily there is a laundromat not too far away and i thought  how bad could it be to hang out there for an hour. Huge mistake.
I was not prepared for the crushing sadness one finds in a laundromat in Joplin at eight in the morning. Crying children, chain-smoking grandmothers, some homeless guy sleeping in the corner next to the soda machine and the looped sound of pac-man eating pellets over and over - it was something right out of a Burkowski novel.

I loaded the dryers and after about two minutes of that environment i had to go outside and sit in the car. There was a moment when I actually saw someone eating a doughnut drop it  into a washing machine while unloading it, then pick it up and continue eating it.
Since it took like half an hour and i now had a hunger for doughnuts i walked about a block to a little doughnut shop and picked up a couple then returned to my car and turned on the radio.
Since there was no baseball game i turned the channel to  a talk radio format on my XM, it was sort of like a Howard Stern type morning show and there was a bit they were playing in which the comedian Gallagher (the guy with the sledge hammer) was being accused of racism by a black comedian on the show - it was funny, i know it doesn't sound like it but there is something that makes me laugh when i hear some one ask Gallagher why he hates black people. I didn't think anything about this until a giant white SUV pulled up next to me - backwards of course so that the drivers side door was next to my open window - since it is satelight radio there were a few curse words - and since this was a black comedian talking about race there were a few times he dropped the N bomb. (In context it was funny - but out of context horrible and racist - like many Richard Pryor jokes might sound if told by someone like myself.) It was at this time Marcellus  Wallace climbs out of his SUV and is right next to my window listening to this program completely out of context - I immediately turned the channel to the grateful dead station - (no misunderstandings there.)

Does he look like a bitch?

I knew this guy  heard the N-bomb drop on my radio, a few times, and then saw me quickly change the channel - scared that I might have offended this 300 pound thugged out, SUV driving, gold chain and sunglasses wearing gentlemen I turned away and looked into my glove box while he was unloading his laundry next to me - it was uncomfortable because while this might have been the nicest guy in the world I was pretty sure I had started off on the wrong foot with him and the slightest look  from me might send him over the edge. The only thing i would think of was to ignore the situation and play with the car's cigarette lighter which was th first thing I saw.
The guy comes over to my window, leaning in to the car with his elbow and says to me, "you looking?"
I didn't even know what he was talking about but all i could say was,"I'm just waiting on my laundry." Trying my best to use an inflection in my voice that said, "please don't think I'm racist and be offended. I love black people or rather I really hate all people, but ceratinly I don't dislike black people more then white people or latino people. I voted for Obama and even dated an asian girl once." It was all in the subtext of my tone.
He sort of laughed at me, and walked inside.
I really wanted to leave - just take off without my laundry and hide out of embarrassment. I just stayed there and waited a few moments while he loaded his washing machines inside and then got in his SUV and left.
It wasn't until I had my laundry loaded in the car an leaving that i realized what he meant -

He saw a guy (me) in his car wearing a tie-dyed shirt listening to the grateful dead with a small black tube (my new cigarette lighter) in his hands and messing with it nervously - he came over and asked me if I was "looking" to buy pot. Which made it a little better because I would much rather be mistaken for a pothead then a racist.